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Sunday, June 16, 2013

Memories Made Me Cry

I was browsing my files that was recovered in my USB flash drive a couple of hours ago. Those files had been corrupted by a virus and I thought I can't recover it no more but thanks to my brother in-law who is a computer genius and he was able to recover it. I was looking at those photos and then I went through the folder under Violy's name. Those were all photos of my late sister Violy that I took with my camera and memories flashed back as I looked at her lovely pics. When I clicked her photos taken when she was very ill, that was during her birthday, just 4 days before she went to heaven, I can't help myself but cry. She looked so skinny, like skin and bones, dark and I saw the pain and hardships she's been going through. I bawled like a baby while I was looking at her pics. They were pics of her and her two boys, her and her hubby. her and me, her and hubby, her and my SIL Marlyn, her and her friends Nelia and Delia and she was really so sick due to her illness. She battled cancer of the liver for 5 months and she can only eat a little due to so much pain in her stomach every time she eats. My chest is so heavy again and tears are flowing while typing this.

I thought I already got over Violy's  passing away. I even posted it HERE in my other blog but those photos of hers in her last days made me cry. Hubby was already in bed when he heard me crying. He asked what's wrong but I just kept bawling. He got up and approached me and I showed him Violy's pics. He said something but I didn't understand what he said. He sounded like he was mumbling. Maybe he thought I was sick or crazy maybe. It's just hard for me to see those photos of Violy during her last days. How could a very beautiful lady became so thin, dark and old due to cancer. Oh God, I hate cancer! It took my beloved sister's life and my mother too. I don't want to show those pics of Violy to other people. I want them to remember her as a beautiful lady, full of life, bubbly and with the sweetest smile ever. I really thank God those files were recovered or else I could have lost Violy's pics including her funeral photos.  Now my chest is still heavy. I just dreamed of Violy the other night. It's the first time she visited me in my dreams since she passed away. I told it to hubby and my youngest brother. The more I miss her so much but I know she's so happy now with Jesus in heaven where there is genuine joy, peace and rest.

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